Monday, June 08, 2009

Not in the Finals

http://www.usmagazine.com/wedding/vote

Guess I better find another way to fund our big day...

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Win a Wedding - Questions 7 & 8. Entry Complete.

My entry has officially been submitted after having finished the final two questions in the nick of time.

I admit, compared to questions 1-7, 8 looks like I gave up, but it's true, so there's something to be said for that, right?

I will keep you posted as to whether or not this goes anywhere other than the 5 of us actually reading it...
*****

Why should we pick you?

A friend sent me the link to this contest and I shared my answers with her as I was writing them. I told her that I still grinned like a fool thinking about how Adam and I first met and was shocked at the emotion elicited from words I wrote in e-mails three years ago.

She indicated that maybe writing this chapter of our lives allowed us pause to reflect on where we started, be proud of how far we’d come and garner excitement for what lies ahead. To see that despite our challenges, we are still madly, deeply and truly in love with one another and wedding or not, that is our constant.

Before Adam, I was afraid to be who I am now and he had to hide who he was then. Both of us compromised ourselves for the sake of someone else and paid the price. However, in exchange we both gained insight, understanding and maturity that we likely would not have achieved had we not wandered up the path of our own experiences and met at the crossroads.

Adam and I defy each other to constantly become better versions of ourselves.

We are good parents trying to make the best of common, but no less difficult, shared parenting situations. We are loving and caring and would do anything for those around us. We are intelligent and want to bring out the best in one another. We are competitive and it’s hard not to get swept up in the good natured rivalry. We share our joys, pains, anxieties, and triumphs. We enjoy each other’s company but appreciate our time apart and accept that it is necessary and makes us stronger. We laugh. A lot. We are our biggest fans.

But in the end, we are ordinary people who happen to be extraordinarily happy and it’s contagious.

And being happy is something that everyone wants to feel.

How would you describe your dream wedding?

It won’t matter where we were, what colors we chose, what flowers we had, what the invitations looked like, what the centerpieces were, what we wore, what we served for dinner, or what we sent home as favors.

As long as Adam and I are surrounded by family and friends having an incredible, unforgettably great time, we can’t go wrong.

Win a Wedding - Question 6: Any favorite locations for your wedding?

Our three favorite wedding locations can be summed up in one phrase each:

Location one: “Are you insane?!?”

Location two: “We’ll never get away with it!”

Location three: “It’s a clever idea!”

Like any good bride to be, the ring was barely warm on my finger before I signed up for every bridal website on the Internet. I made lists of possible locations and polled married friends for ideas.

I compiled a list of hotels, fire halls, VFW’s, and other reception sites, but kept going back to one place…Jacob’s Field.

Adam and I, being the Cleveland Indians fans that we are, and knowing that technically, our first date should’ve been Jacob’s Field, we joked about getting married on home plate and what a spectacular idea that was…if only we could win the lottery.

Out of curiosity, I e-mailed the event coordinator to find out just how astronomical a wedding at a Major League Baseball stadium would run us.

As it turned out, it wasn’t completely out of the ballpark and seemed quite feasible in the irrational trade-off of unique and cool.

We had the entire baseball season, all 162 games of it, to think about it and despite the “Are you insane?!?” reaction from friends and family, in October 2008, we put down a deposit for June 20, 2009.

This gave me the motivation to start researching and cataloguing everything from photographers to DJ’s. And we found it was easy to plan for a baseball theme. I found rose buds made out of baseball leather. Our ‘save the dates’ were going to be baseball cards. We asked 10 of our friends to stand up for us as our ‘starting line-up’. We decided that our son and daughter were going to be our ‘bat boy’ and ‘ball girl’ instead of ring bearer and flower girl. I amassed all the examples and ideas that would ultimately add to an already extravagant bottom line.

And then the bottom dropped on the economy.

For four months, we danced, sashayed and traipsed around the elephant in the room before finally vocalizing what we both knew to be true. Spending a gazillion dollars we never had in the first place just to say we got married at a ballpark could not be justified and we cancelled the wedding at the ballpark formerly known as Jacob’s Field.

Three months later, a destination wedding became a topic of heated debate after we attended the Opening Day game at what is now Progressive Field. After having been reminded of what could have been (and how much that would have cost) we started to seriously discuss just packing our bags, running away to (insert tropical paradise here) and coming back as husband and wife.

My heart swelled with love as Adam pleaded his case. With each point, I was more convinced that it was the best scheme ever.

“It would be romantic!”

“It would be relaxing!”

“It would require little planning!”

“Hundreds of handwritten invitations would be completely unnecessary!”

“With all of his travel points, it would cost next to nothing!”

“No one else would be there!”

Wait…

No one else would be there?

My starry eyed optimism was quickly clouded by cynical skepticism. For the dreamy vision was missing something very important – our families and friends.

Panic replaced practical as I thought “we’ll never get away with it!”

Since we met, I’ve shrouded myself in the cloak of my family. I fought on their behalf for their want and need to be at our wedding. I’ve agonized over the guest list to make sure that all four sides of our families were represented. We’ve gone ‘round and ‘round over what everyone else wanted.

I held onto the argument that I am the eldest daughter.

My mom wants to help me get ready.

My dad wants to walk me down the aisle.

Imagine my surprise when I realized that it wasn’t what everyone else wanted that was preventing us from catching a plane that night.

It was me.

The line between who is family and who are friends is blurred and I wanted to share our day with those who’d been there for us. Who knew and loved us. I wanted to celebrate our future together with those who helped get us to where we are and will be around to see where we end up.

And for all the passionate pros, nothing could overcome that one con.

I found us back at square one when I met and fell in love with Adam Squires.

Three years ago I knowingly proposed there was only one place that was appropriate for our inevitable wedding.

Squire’s Castle in the North Chagrin Reservation of the Cleveland Metroparks.

The fortress like structure was meant to be the gatekeeper’s house for an estate that was never built. Recently, it was gutted, renovated and now stands as a modern day ruin. It is nestled into a grove of trees which, when they change into their fall attire, provide a beautiful backdrop for the castle.

Never really a castle nor any relation to Adam’s Squires, it’s a clever idea for the Squires to get married at Squire’s Castle.

And unlike locations one and two, location three hasn’t been ruled out.


***
For those unfamiliar with Squire's Castle, see pictures here:

http://www.deadohio.com/SquiresCastle.htm

Win A Wedding - Question 5: Which celeb wedding is your favorite and why?


Good God. This was hard because I look at celebrity weddings and am sickened by how much is spent (some upwards of $2 million!!!!) and I had a hard time a) finding a celeb wedding that didn't make me gag and b) that 'inspired' me.

Here are the sites that I found to be 'inspiring'. The actress is the crazy neighbor on "Two and a Half Men". I have no idea who her husband is...I think some actor. That makes them celebrities, right?

But in the interest of time (this entry is due by midnight tonight), it'll do.

http://community.livejournal.com/melanielynskey/1269.html#cutid1

http://www.weddingsnewzealand.co.nz/weddings/

http://www.instyleweddings.com/weddings/gallery/0,,20280136,00.html


My horoscope for today...rather fitting, I think: "Add some personal touches to any and all writing you do today; otherwise, your creative writing skills are in danger of rusting away! Even a little flourish to your signature on that check to the phone company says something about you. Don't wait until you are asked to write a novel or wedding speech. You have to try to integrate your creativity in absolutely everything you do, including emails and form letters."

Which celeb wedding is your favorite?

The Chapel at the Lake at Stoneridge Estate in Queenstown, New Zealand, exudes a rustic elegance. With seating for less than seventy people, the chapel creates a cozy and warm setting in which guests are close enough to hear every word and see each joyous teardrop.

A short stroll away is The Stoneridge Estate reception hall, which is constructed of aged bridge beams, Welsh slate and materials collected from old churches. Large, open windows allow natural light to dance off the polished stone floors and highlight the simplistic beauty of the room.

The windows also frame the picturesque landscape that surrounds the building and is any bride’s dream backdrop for unforgettable wedding photos. Alpine mountains stand majestically over Lake Hayes. There are twelve acres of gardens and waterfalls and the Chapel at the Lake looks out over a vineyard.

It is no wonder why this venue was chosen by New Zealand actress Melanie Lynskey and her husband, Jimmi Simpson for their nuptials on April 14, 2007.

Ms. Lynskey and Mr. Simpson chose a location that spoke to their hearts. A place inherent of beauty and tranquility was a most suitable environment for their exchange of lifetime promises of loving, honoring and cherishing one another.

In a Woman’s Day article by Kylie Tannahill, Ms. Lynskey was quoted as saying “It’s just such a wonderful thing to be able to stand up in front of the people who you love, make a commitment to each other and really believe in that commitment.”

This wedding was the exact opposite of most celebrity weddings that seem to ooze fortune and fame rather than embrace love and commitment. It wasn’t an ostentatious affair remembered more for who was there and what they wore.

It was modest, personal and uncomplicated.

For their sixty guests, they chose a traditional menu of a beef, chicken or vegetarian entrée. The flower arrangements were effortless and accented their site. Along with the bouquets, the tables minimally adorned with candles and chocolates. Even their cake was simple, yet stylish.

And of course, the bride was radiant. Ms. Lynskey chose a stunning gown with just enough frills to make her look like a princess as her father escorted her down the aisle to her waiting prince charming. Her dress did not require a slew of attendants just to help her turn around and instead appeared comfortable and fit the unpretentious ambiance of the couple’s big day.

The look and feel of this particular wedding is appealing because it is real. It sets a standard attainable by everyday people while still maintaining magical qualities.

Everyday people can see their pictures, be inspired and think “I could do that…and I would make it my own.”

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Win a Wedding - Question 4: Have you or your fiance overcome any obstacles?

Knowing that heartwrenching stories of adversity and suffering can pull at the old heartstings made this a difficult question to answer since we face none of either and there's nothing I could say that would turn on the waterworks of a judge and sway them to feel sorry for us and award us a wedding.

So be it.

I'll take being us over any alternatives any day.


Have you or your fiancé overcome any obstacles?

When I think of obstacles, I think of things that are standing in the way; preventing progress of the natural course of events. To me obstacles make everyday life a struggle, the burden of which can cause stress, anxiety and hardship and test the bonds of even the strongest of relationships.

Knowing that this is a contest, I wouldn’t say that we have obstacles that would garner any sympathy from a panel of judges who ultimately decide who deserves to win a wedding.

We are eternally grateful that our children are in good health. They are bright, outgoing, and well-behaved. Adam and I are both able-bodied, healthy individuals. Thankfully, in these difficult economic times, we’re both gainfully employed and have some disposable income to utilize after the requisite monthly financial obligations are met. We are able make charitable contributions to help those who aren’t as prosperous. Our modest incomes keep a comfortable roof over our heads. We are surrounded by an extensive network of family and friends, all of whom offer support and help keep our foundation solid. We don’t have any religious, political or racial conflicts that cause tension between us or our families. I would venture to say that very little if anything, would qualify as an obstacle in our lives and we are aware that others may not necessarily be nearly as fortunate.

Not to say that we don’t have challenges.

There are many moving parts to coordinate in order to ensure that the machine that is our family runs smoothly. We strive to minimize the ill effects that come along with both of us being children of divorce, as well as our children being children of divorce. And for our efforts, have been rewarded with well-adjusted children who love and respect ALL of their parents, in addition to the extra grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins that constitute the split family village

My fiancé travels extensively for his job, which sometimes affects our relationship. But for every negative that the travel may cause, there’s an equal and opposite positive that creates a balance.

We have a mountain of debt, but it’s manageable in that it’s paid on time and payments cover more than the minimum due.

None of these challenges is unique. There are millions of couples, representing a diverse population, who face the same issues, or some combination thereof, and then some. We would be ignorant to think otherwise.

We certainly aren’t going to earn any points in this category, nor do I feel the need to exaggerate our mole hills of challenges into mountains of obstacles in order to paint an inaccurate picture of who we are. To do so would be an insult to those in less favorable situations and would compromise the honesty on which our relationship is built.

Win a Wedding - Question 3

How did you get engaged?
Check Spelling
On a cool fall weekend, 19 Northeast Ohioans trekked across the border and into Ontario, Canada for their annual Niagara on the Lake wine tour. Several had made the journey before but most were new to the wonder and delights that lay ahead.

During the first annual trip, Konzelmann Estate Winery made our exclusive list of “must-sees” due to the wine tasting demonstration held in the cramped, albeit cozy, tasting room and conducted by the knowledgeable sommelier.


When the group returned to the same winery this year, we were astonished to find that they had expanded exponentially since the previous visit and now housed three separate wine tasting rooms, each more than double in size of the cozy room we remembered.

We easily identified our wine expert, Kevin, and all 19 of us crowded around the bar for our wine lesson. He recognized that we were a fun group, was quickly swept up by our shenanigans and went above and beyond his pouring obligations.

After many samples and subsequently much laughter and many cheers, Kevin cleared the bar and set-up 18 clean glasses so he could pour us each a glass of sparkling white wine in order to “cleanse our palates”.

In front of the 19th guest, he placed a glass slipper.

I, being a little foggy from our debauchery, thought nothing of the glass slipper before me and attributed it to being “fun and cute”.

I continued to think nothing of it as I joked about drinking from a shoe.

I still thought nothing of it as a friend pulled out a video camera.

I further thought nothing of it as I brought the glass slipper up to my lips to take a sip.

As a sparkly ring slid from the toe of my glass slipper of sparkling wine, I started to think something of it.

I looked to my left. Down on one knee and looking up expectantly at me was Adam.

I practically threw the glass slipper back on the bar, jumped back, turned to face Adam and in front of my parents, my best friends and a room of strangers, so eloquently yelled “Shut the eff up!”

The next few minutes are an absolute blur in my memory. I’m not even entirely positive what Adam said or how he asked, though I’m confident it was heartfelt and emotional. However, I was too busy crying and fanning my face with my hands for anything to have registered permanently in my brain.

He asked if that was a ‘yes’.

It was then, and to my horror, that I realized that my reaction to the most important question I’d ever be asked was “Shut the eff up!”

So classy.

But very memorable.

And of course, it meant “yes”.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Win a Wedding - Question 2

Why is he "the one"?

Less than two weeks after we met, I wrote the following to Adam:

“I find a lot about us (and you) and our dynamic completely fascinating. We appear to be balanced in a way that can't possibly be normal. It's this Yin/Yang thing. I know that for me personally, having this loving, respectful relationship has really opened my eyes and in such a short time, I believe that I have become more centered and grounded, than I've ever been before. In general, feeling really good about myself and who I am (not that it was necessarily an issue, but it's certainly more concrete) and where I'm going.


People ask me how I'm doing and I tell them that life is fantastic. And I'm not exaggerating.

I don't have time to fret over anything or read into it because I can just ask you or bring it up. I don't get stressed about us because, other than factors out of our control, there's no uncertainty. I know exactly how you feel about me and what your intentions are and I hope that I do the same for you.

I see our relationship as some sort of dance. To quote John Michael Montgomery "life's a dance, you learn as you go. Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow". That's us.

The way we interact when we're out, or at home, or in the kitchen, or with the kids, or on the phone, there's this sixth sense about anticipating the other's needs or wants and reacting to them while at the same time keeping your own needs and wants in mind. Then they're naturally woven together because our needs and wants aren't that far off. I don't typically have to ask you for anything and vice versa. It just happens. Because you know.

You are a fantastic individual, I get butterflies in my stomach for a number of different reasons and when recalling any moment I've spent with you. I keep replaying conversations and events and it elicits the same jittery excited feeling. I know that there's no way I've EVER felt like this about anyone in my life and it's so wonderful.

You are incredible and you've made all the days since I met you brighter and happier.

I was perfectly content cruising through life, okay with being single forever, when lo and behold, I met you. My previous plan to become a bingo playing, blue-haired, old maid has been foiled. Having been discarded for the far more appealing, princess finds prince charming, they live happily ever after scenario playing out before my very eyes.

Who would've thought that this was a) possible and b) even more fulfilling and exciting than imagined.

I know that I've told you that my family basically figures that no one will ever be good enough for me, but that someone would eventually be close enough. You are more than close enough. You are my equal. I've said it before, you are everything I was looking for but didn't know that I wanted. Because of you, me and whatever the future holds for us, I am eternally grateful to the forces of the universe for having guided our paths to cross.

I am thrilled at the prospect of many more todays happening in all of my tomorrows.”

Three YEARS worth of todays have become yesterdays since I wrote the preceding. We have been stressed, strained and tested but our foundation has endured the test of time. With each new twist and turn, we emerge stronger than before.

I am more in love with him now than I was then and less than I will be tomorrow and that is why Adam is “the one”.


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Win a Wedding!!!

So, I'm working on my entry to a contest for which the grand prize is a dream wedding...

I have to answer a bunch of questions about us (how did we meet, why is he the one, how did we get engaged, why should we win, etc.). The answers are long because I have up to 1000 words per question, which I've found is A LOT.

Going to test out the answers to their questions on you, my faithful 3 readers. Let me know what you think. I'll post them as I write them. I think there may be a way to vote on my entry once it's been published, but I'll let you know so you can all help us win a wedding!

HOW DID YOU MEET?

Three years ago, two, lonely, single parents, confident that their soul mates were to be found via means other than the cliché bar scene, dared to embrace the age of Internet dating. Each posted their respective profiles on a little site called Match.com in hopes that Mr. or Ms. Right would stumble across the combination that would unlock the door to their own happily ever afters.

After only a week on the site, Ms. Possible (who had loftily billed herself as “the coolest girl in the world”) found a potentially viable combination and was intrigued first by Mr. Possible’s picture. He had chosen a candid cell phone photo as enticement for potential matches. But even the low resolution couldn’t hide the playful twinkle that mesmerized Ms. Possible, warranting further investigation and inquiry into the reason for that sparkle.

Having picked up the pieces from a recent divorce, Mr. Possible felt that he had learned and healed from his experience and was ready to embark on the dating trail once again. The catch for this journey was the glimmer in his eye – the spark being Mr. Possible’s three and a half year old son, Will, who was now along for the ride.

As Mr. Possible indicated in his obligatory ‘getting to know me’ blurb, dating with a child was not as easy as it looked and had come to be a stop sign of sorts to those not open to the idea.

Ms. Possible was a single parent herself, the mother of a nine month old daughter. Stronger after her own painful relationship and subsequent separation, she could relate to Mr. Possible’s challenging, but not hopeless situation, and reached out to him.

They exchanged a few guarded e-mails before Mr. Possible used “verbose” to describe himself.

After that, she was hooked.

Ms. Possible’s original list of requirements did not include long walks on the beach or romantic candlelight dinners. Instead, it stipulated that the ideal guy would have a solid grasp of the English language and be able to write well, as she prided herself in that very ability. She took it out because it sounded a bit pretentious and that those who didn't meet the standard would weed themselves out naturally. As one can imagine, she was relieved that she’d stumbled across someone with that qualification.

On the flip side of that same coin, Mr. Possible was relieved that instead of Ms. Possible thinking he was a pompous ass for not just using the word “wordy”, he came across as intelligent and well-spoken. He was impressed that she was impressed.

Thus began a torrent of epic e-mails to one another detailing the specifics of their respective lives. Mr. and Ms. Possible covered the gamut of first, second and third date banter prior to ever having met in person and after only 5 days.

There is much debate over who asked whom out first, but ultimately, they decided to meet at the Bob Feller statue outside of what was then Jacob’s Field to catch a Friday night Cleveland Indians game.

Unfortunately, Mother Nature solidified the notion of unpredictable Cleveland weather and unleashed a monsoon of a spring storm just before game time. While Plan B didn’t include an ark, it did include a change of venue from braving the elements to cozying up in at the Winking Lizard Tavern.

Mr. and Mrs. Possible recognized each other from pictures and exchanged an awkward handshake before sitting down to dinner. It didn’t take many glasses of a shared favorite hometown brew before they decided to forego the game and enjoy the comfort of their company.

A pivotal point in the evening came when they decided that they had worn their welcome at the current establishment and called for a change of scenery. They could either venture out on their own, or they could meet Ms. Possible’s dad (!), stepmom, and various degrees of close friends at another location where they were all anxiously awaiting details of this event and were curious as to who the mystery Internet guy was.

Sensing Ms. Possible’s value of the opinion from her family and friends (or having let liquid courage guide his decision) Mr. Possible welcomed the trial by fire and voluntarily threw himself to the wolves. On the first date.

A funny thing happened as they strolled hand in hand up Prospect Ave. (a foretelling sign in hindsight) to meet their fate. Before reaching their destination, Mr. Possible stopped Mrs. Possible, cupped her face gently in his hands and leaned down to kiss her softly. As the inevitable fireworks flew, an envious passerby yelled out “Get a room!”

And that is how they will forever remember their first kiss.

They found the panel of judges crowded ‘round a corner table. Introductions were made and if Mr. Possible was intimidated or nervous, he didn’t show it. He quickly made himself part of Ms. Possible’s group of family and friends and paid equal attention to those around him, but special attention to Ms. Possible’s dad…the toughest and most protective critic in the bunch. To win him over was to win her over. Ms. Possible may not have known it at the time, but dad recognized immediately that she had found the combination to her happily ever after and Mr. and Ms. Possible would soon become Mr. and Mrs. Right.

Friday, March 06, 2009

Happy Birthday to Me...the Annual Poem from my Brother!

31 is funA celebratory poem by: David R. Janka

31 is fun
So kick off your shoes
And head for the sun

Oh.

We live in Cleveland
the land of no sun
or much fun

Unless!

You have beer!

Lot’s of beer!
The only thing in Cleveland,
we like cold and never gets old!

So kick back in the nude,
with a six packer two

Or

Even stranger,
Make out with a stranger!
When your through,
take a poo.

Because

As you probably found out
That cheap ass beer,
Is ready, to come out!

Truth

Ah, the first day of 31
Not as much fun,
as being hung over,and 21.

Happy Birthday and go get’em!

Friday, February 06, 2009

Goin' to the Chapel...

...and so not getting married!!

Adam and I are attending our first wedding of 2009 tonight at the Downtown Marriott. The lucky couple? His boss, Kelly and soon-to-be new hubby, John. Very honored to get to share this day with them and am excited, albeit a little nervous, to meet and greet Adam's other co-workers. I have a fabulous new dress and am ready to tear up the town, in the most discreet, "isn't Adam's fiance so demure and sweet", kind of way.

Pink Gramma (aka Nana Kat to Will) will be watching the monsters at our house tonight. All will go well if she doesn't have to change the channels on the TV...or worse, try to summon something up on the DVR.

We'll be back bright and early tomorrow in time for Adam to take Will to karate then we have a WHOLE DAY of nothing planned.

Ahhh, *sigh of relief*.

On Sunday, we will trek down to Stow for the much anticipated first birthday party of Olyvia and Grayce.

Lots of family stuff this weekend. Good thing too, since last weekend tried to kill me!